You've probably tried everything. You've had the conversations, sent the texts, copied the attorneys. Maybe you've been back to court. And yet here you are, still arguing about the same things, watching your children navigate a conflict they didn't choose and can't fix.
First you have to convince yourself that something has to change. Then you have to convince the person you can't stop arguing with. That's an enormous amount to carry — and it's exactly where this process begins.
We start with temperament charting — a structured tool that builds a concrete picture of each child: how they experience the world, what helps them feel secure, what overwhelms them, and how each parent relates to them individually. Both parents complete this together, and the differences in how you each see your child are often where the most important insights live.
From there, we gather everything available: what teachers are observing in the classroom, what therapists and doctors are reporting, what coaches and other consistent adults are seeing. I synthesize all of it into a picture of your child's full life — not just the version visible from inside the conflict.
If that picture isn't complete enough to guide a decision, I will reach out directly to the relevant people — with your knowledge — to fill in the gaps. Think of it like hiring someone to manage a full kitchen remodel. I work in close consultation with you on every decision, coordinate all the professionals involved in your children's lives, and make sure everyone is working toward the same goal. I do everything I can to help you reach your own agreements. But you have given me the authority to make the final call when that isn't possible.
That's what makes this process different — and what makes it work.
Mediation is a process for reaching agreements. It works best when both parties can participate voluntarily, communicate in good faith, and make decisions freely. When that's possible, mediation is usually the right tool.
Parenting coordination is what comes next when those conditions aren't fully in place — when conflict has become entrenched, when communication has broken down, when children are being drawn into disputes that should never involve them. It's a longer-term, more structured process specifically designed for high-conflict co-parenting situations.
The most important difference: as a parenting coordinator, I have decision-making authority. When you cannot agree, I can make a binding decision. That authority changes the dynamic entirely — and it's often what makes progress possible when nothing else has.
In California, PC is recognized as a distinct professional role. The best interests of the child is the legal standard that guides every decision — and determining what that actually means for your specific children is where the real work begins.
Some questions worth sitting with: Have you tried mediation or negotiating directly and found that the same issues keep coming back? Is communication between you and your co-parent so difficult that even small decisions escalate? Are your children aware of the conflict — or worse, being asked to carry messages, take sides, or manage one parent's emotions? Have attorneys or a court already been involved, and things still aren't resolved?
If you're nodding at more than one of those, parenting coordination is probably the right conversation to have. The worksheet above can help you think it through more specifically.
This is the reality for most people who find this page. You're here alone, trying to figure out whether this is right, knowing that even if it is — you still have to get your co-parent on board with someone you can barely get to agree on a pickup time.
Start with the worksheet. It's designed for exactly this moment — to help you get clear on what you're looking for and to give you language for the conversation with your co-parent.
Then consider a consultation — just you, no commitment. We can talk through what's happening, whether PC is the right fit, and what the path to getting both parties involved actually looks like.
If attorneys are involved on either side, the initiation process is different: your attorney would reach out to their attorney to propose PC formally. In high-conflict situations that have already reached that level, having the structure of a formal process is usually an asset, not a barrier.
And if your co-parent simply won't agree voluntarily, court-ordered PC is an option. A family court judge can order parenting coordination when the level of conflict warrants it — and at that point, participation isn't optional.
It almost always starts with a joint consultation — even when PC has been court-ordered. Before anything else, I need to meet with both of you together to understand the landscape: what the conflict is really about, what your children's lives look like, and what support systems are already in place around your family.
From there we move into separate individual meetings with each parent. This gives each of you space to speak freely — to tell me things that are harder to say with your co-parent in the room — and helps me understand each perspective fully before we start working together.
Then we return to joint sessions, where the actual work happens. Each agreement we reach is a platform — a stable structure your family can stand on while we build the next one. The early sessions tend to be more frequent, because there's more to establish and the conflict is usually at its height when families start. Over time, as agreements hold and patterns stabilize, the sessions get further apart.
That spacing is intentional. The goal isn't to keep meeting indefinitely — it's to keep your co-parenting muscles strong enough that you need less outside help over time. Some families check in monthly in the first year, then quarterly, then only when something significant changes. Each agreement becomes a foundation for the next, and gradually the foundation holds on its own.
Parenting coordination is usually a two-year commitment, though every family moves at a different pace. The first phase tends to be more intensive — meetings are closer together, there's more to establish, and the conflict is usually at its height when families start. As agreements take hold and communication improves, the rhythm shifts naturally.
Two years sounds like a long time. But consider what the alternative looks like: ongoing court appearances, attorney fees, children growing up inside a conflict that never resolves. PC is an investment in a different trajectory — one where the goal is a sustainable peace that no longer needs me in the middle.
Most families don't need the full two years to feel the difference. The shift often happens earlier than people expect, once there's a structure in place and decisions stop being battles.
Both, depending on the situation.
Whenever possible, I work to help you reach your own agreements. You know your children better than I do, and agreements you reach together are more durable than ones handed down from outside. My job is to facilitate that — to keep the conversation focused on your children's needs, to help you hear each other when that feels impossible, and to bring in outside expertise when a decision requires it.
When you genuinely cannot agree, I make the decision. I will have gathered information, heard both perspectives, and consulted with relevant professionals. I document my reasoning and, if PC is court-ordered, submit the decision to the court. That decision is binding — either as a court order or as a contract between the parties, depending on how the PC arrangement was established.
What I will never do is advocate for one parent over the other. My authority exists entirely in service of one thing: what is actually best for your children.
This matters, and I want to answer it directly.
Domestic violence and parenting coordination can coexist with the right protocols — but coercive control is different. If one parent has systematically removed the other's ability to make free and independent decisions, PC is not the right process. The power imbalance that makes coercive control dangerous doesn't disappear in a structured setting — it just operates differently.
If you're not sure which category your situation falls into, please don't try to figure it out alone. A consultation with me can help clarify whether PC is appropriate and what safeguards would need to be in place. And if you need support from someone who specializes in exactly this, I trust Tina Lynn Huggins completely — she works nationally and offers a free confidential consultation. You can reach her at divorcecoachspecialist.com, by phone at 1-719-580-6684, or by email at coachtinalynn@gmail.com. We can also schedule a joint consultation if you'd prefer not to navigate that conversation alone.
Every family that comes to parenting coordination is hoping for the same thing: to stop fighting and start parenting. That's a reasonable thing to want. And it's achievable — not all at once, but one agreement at a time, one platform at a time, until the foundation holds on its own.