Reaching Out to Your Sibling — Invitation Worksheet

Before you send a message or pick up the phone, this worksheet helps you understand what your sibling may be feeling — and how to reach them in a way that opens a door rather than closing one.

Your answers stay with you. Nothing here is sent to anyone.

Remember: you aren't asking them to commit to a whole process. You're asking for one conversation, with no obligation attached to what happens after it.

Before you write anything

Who should actually deliver this invitation?

Sometimes the message lands better coming from someone other than you — especially if your relationship with this sibling carries old weight. This isn't required. It's worth considering before you draft anything.

Part One

What might your sibling be feeling?

Select everything that sounds like your sibling right now. You can choose as many as feel true — most people show more than one.

When you imagine bringing up mediation, what is your sibling most likely to say?

What do you think your sibling is most afraid of?

When your sibling has pushed back on difficult conversations in the past, what did it look like?

What does your sibling need most right now to feel safe enough to take one small step?

What this tells you

Part Two

Before you reach out

These questions are for you, not for the message. Answer honestly. The clearer you are here, the better your outreach will land.

Why do you think the two of you haven't been able to have this conversation on your own?

Not who's at fault. Just what's actually gotten in the way, every time you've tried.

What do you think is likely to be their biggest objection to having a mediated conversation?

Knowing this in advance helps you write an invitation that doesn't accidentally confirm their worry.

What's one thing your sibling might say you got wrong about this — even if you don't think you did?

This isn't about agreeing with them. It's about showing you're willing to hear a version of events that isn't yours.

Can you reach out without any part of your message being about winning, being right, or who was always the favorite? If not — what do you need to set down before you start?

This is the hardest question. It's also the most important one.

Part Three

Write your invitation with AI

You've done the thinking. Now use what you've written to draft your message — with a little help.

The C.H.I.L.D. communication framework

CompassionateWritten with care for what your sibling is carrying, not just what you need to say

HonestSay what is true without embellishing or omitting what matters

IntentionalEvery word earns its place — nothing is vented, nothing is accidental

Low-HeatCalm in tone even when the situation isn't — de-escalate, don't trigger

DirectClear and firm about what you are asking, without pressure or ultimatum

What would you like to create?

Your AI prompt — copy this and take it to Claude.ai

Click "Build my prompt" below to assemble your answers into a ready-to-use prompt.

Copied!

A note on privacy. I recommend Claude.ai for this work. Unlike some AI tools, Claude does not remember your conversations by default — what you share stays in that session and is not used to train the model. If you want Claude to remember something for future sessions, you can tell it to. Otherwise, your conversation is private to you.

When you start your Claude session, treat it like a conversation at a coffee shop — someone might be nearby. Use first names only, no identifying details. Then paste your prompt and get to work.

Open Claude.ai →